Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Doing the Right thing is Also a Really Hard Thing

I am preparing myself for what I know is coming later this week.  I know it's coming because it happens every time I'm about to send my boys to their Dad's house.  It is a good thing for the boys to get to go to their Dad's. It is the right thing for them and for their Dad. I am so glad their Dad wants to be a part of their lives.  It is also one of the hardest things that I have to do.

  In the days leading up to them going I become a stress ball and end up being short tempered. When I really just want to love on them and let them know I will miss them, but I am really excited for them to get to go.  I guess the stress of knowing they will be gone plus trying to get them packed and ready on top of my daily already crazy life just... gets to me.  

So, I am preparing myself because I really don't want it to be like that.  I want it to be that I am excited for them.  I want to see the good in it all.  I will miss them yes, but I need a break sometimes and this is that opportunity.  It is good for them to have these experiences.  Even though I am not there to see them experience it.  

I think being mentally prepared, spiritually prepared, and physically prepared (get them packed early so it is not so stressful right before they go) will help.  This will never be an easy thing.  It will always pull at my heart that they will be gone.  I will always miss them.  I will always feel a little out of sorts when they are gone. That is the way it should be and that is ok.  I need to be strong because they need to go and have fun.  They need to go make memories with their Dad.  They don't need any of the baggage that comes with, "this is the way it is."  That will come in time.  I need to protect them from that for as long as I can.  

So I am doing the right thing for my boys.  It is a really hard thing.  I would do anything for them if I thought it was the right thing for them.  So, I can be strong for them I am their Mamma!


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