Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Today I realized it's Tuesday!! The kids only have a few more day's of school. They boys are going to their Dad's for 2 weeks this weekend. Oh, my gosh it's already Tuesday! I have so much to do! I am sure I am not the only Momma that feels like that but sometimes it hits me and I really just feel like I've been pushed along in the week and didn't even notice the time going by. Course I've been busy so you know the saying... "Time flies when your having fun!" or taking care of lots of people!
Anyway! I have realized that I am somewhat addicted to 19 kids and Counting. I know kinda a weird show to be addicted to, but we have it on Netflix and I started watching it. I guess it makes me feel like my life is not so crazy after all. LOL I also have gotten some really great ideas on organizing, and having the kids helping out at home. I love that they are just regular people and that they stick by their beliefs and their convictions no matter what anyone thinks. Children are a blessing from God no doubt about it!
I am rereading the final book in one of my favorite series. Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series is excellent. I am reading An Echo in the Bone before the next book comes out so I remember all of what happened. I picked up the book and actually kinda chuckled. I don't remember this book being this big! LOL I love big books! I have preordered the next book to go to my kindle so I it will be easier to keep with me than a great big book. I think I will still miss having that big book sitting around. I also think I will miss the look on people's faces when they say... are you reading that! Wow that's huge!
Today was a pretty good day... I love teething babies! LOL oh was that facetious. No they are sweet babies my head only hurt for a little while. :-) It is always a joy to see them growing and learning. Chaeli is a determined little lady. She will be crawling in no time. She gets up on her hands and knees and wiggles back and forth. It's so cute! Landree (who I babysit) is getting good at the crawling thing and gets so excited when she gets going. Mr. G was fun today too! He is getting so big! Sometimes I have to remind myself he is only 3! All in all it's been a good day.
OK now I must go rest so I can do it all again tomorrow! :-)
I am preparing myself for what I know is coming later this week. I know it's coming because it happens every time I'm about to send my boys to their Dad's house. It is a good thing for the boys to get to go to their Dad's. It is the right thing for them and for their Dad. I am so glad their Dad wants to be a part of their lives. It is also one of the hardest things that I have to do.
In the days leading up to them going I become a stress ball and end up being short tempered. When I really just want to love on them and let them know I will miss them, but I am really excited for them to get to go. I guess the stress of knowing they will be gone plus trying to get them packed and ready on top of my daily already crazy life just... gets to me.
So, I am preparing myself because I really don't want it to be like that. I want it to be that I am excited for them. I want to see the good in it all. I will miss them yes, but I need a break sometimes and this is that opportunity. It is good for them to have these experiences. Even though I am not there to see them experience it.
I think being mentally prepared, spiritually prepared, and physically prepared (get them packed early so it is not so stressful right before they go) will help. This will never be an easy thing. It will always pull at my heart that they will be gone. I will always miss them. I will always feel a little out of sorts when they are gone. That is the way it should be and that is ok. I need to be strong because they need to go and have fun. They need to go make memories with their Dad. They don't need any of the baggage that comes with, "this is the way it is." That will come in time. I need to protect them from that for as long as I can.
So I am doing the right thing for my boys. It is a really hard thing. I would do anything for them if I thought it was the right thing for them. So, I can be strong for them I am their Mamma!