Today I write about something that is a struggle right now in my life. My Teenage Step Son whom I truly do think of as my own is going through the normal teenage stuff... I don't know if it would be different if her were my own or if this is just something we have to work through, but this relationship has been hard recently. Saying I am so ready for him to go back to school really doesn't cover it... at least not all the way.
Why share this trying personal time on my blog? Well, I feel like I am certainly not the only person who has gone through something like this and who knows hearing about my struggles may help someone else in their own struggles. So, I've decided to share a bit on this subject.
My Step Son is 15 and it has been an adjustment for us in that I have a 6 year old and 2 year old. I haven't done the teenage stuff yet. The only thing that has saved us is I come from a big family. I'm the oldest of 5. So, I remember my brothers going through some of this stuff and that has helped... some.
On top of the teenaged stuff we deal with the fact that he has been an only child up until 2 years ago so he is still getting used to having to share time, and figuring out where he fits. I hear a lot of, " you don't treat them this way." Which in some ways is true... they are 6 and 2 of course I don't treat them the same in some circumstances. On the other had if either of them had acted the way said teenager was acting I would have acted the same way possibly even more harsh than I had been with him. I try my very hardest to be fair to him and to treat him how I would treat my own kids. I try very hard to show him I love them just as I love them. Sometimes we do pretty good... sometimes not so much...
A recent trial (as in this has been going on the past couple of days) I have been waking the kids up like I will be next week when school starts. This way they are getting used to getting up early and getting ready and the routine won't be such a shock next week when going to school.
Well, the younger boys are doing just fine... other than being a little more tired through the day they are doing good. They will be in good shape next week. The big boy is a completely different story!
I wake him up nicely hey kiddo (shake him a bit and turn on his light) It's 6:30 time to get up... I go wake up the smaller boys and then give them a minute to get woken up... I come back to wake them up... same thing... come on time to get up! Shake him and remind him we are practicing for next week. You need to get up get a shower and get going. I go to the little boys room and get them up. They are already awake or pretty much so anyway... They get up dressed, brush teeth, brush hair and head to the kitchen for breakfast.
Big boy is still in bed. I stop on my way with little boys going to the kitchen... OK time to be less nice. I get my spray bottle... They boys know that if they are being difficult this is what I will do. I spray a fine mist just enough to make them jump... Mr. Grumpy pants is now in the building... I remind him that he needs to get up I have tried to wake him up however many times and now I am a bit mad. please get up!
By this point Dad has heard the trouble and now he is getting onto him too. So, he gets up. He comes out and sits at the table. A little while later I ask if he is going to eat breakfast... since he is sitting there watching a video on his iPod and doesn't appear to have any thoughts of getting dressed, eating breakfast, or anything like that...
At this point I tell him I have left a list of chores I would like him to do today on his computer desk. He gets up... looks at list... wads it up and throws it in the corner... and leaves to go to his room. Hmmm I just love it when a teenager acts like the 2 year old. A little while later when I get a chance to check on him... I find him asleep in his bed asleep again! I ask him to sit up and talk to me which he tells me he is listening. Great! So, I tell him how he is being disrespectful. How even if he doesn't like what I have to say or how I am handling this that he still has to do what he is told. I then get told he doesn't feel good... Interesting how he felt good enough to stay up until 11:30 last night when he was told to go to bed at 10... Also interesting how this is the first I am hearing of this. He also tells me that I am being rude by waking him up the way I am and how I don't wake the little boys up like I wake him up. To which I loose it a bit and yell. I woke you up nicely 2 times before I ever started to be mean or raise my voice to you at all. I leave with it is time to get up NOW!
As I sit here typing this... he is still in bed... what to do... what to do... obviously he has no intention of doing what I am asking him to do today. He has no intention of listening. I would force the issue, but being that I am over 6 months prego and not really able to push a big 15 muscley teenager around I doubt that will happen. I will leave the physical stuff to Dad. I do think I will go take up his phone and iPod and tell him he may stay in his room until his Father gets home to deal with him. Hmmm not really how i would like to handle it, but I think this will have to work at least for now.
OK now your turn to share! Do you have a difficult teenager? Have you dealt with the step kiddo troubles? Do you remember when your kiddos went through stuff like this? Thanks for letting me vent... share... and hopefully help other who may being going through similar stuff know they are not alone! LOL
Bye for now!
~April
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