Thursday, September 12, 2013

I Think I can... Getting Organized... To Do List

I am not even going to talk about what I got done yesterday because it really is pretty much nothing.  So I am going to move on to today.  

Today's To Do:
  • Call Caelan's Orthodontist (already did!)
  • Mail Cody's Thank You's (already did!)
  • Bills (already did)
  • posts (doing right now!)
  • Laundry (I've gotten the first step of getting it all to the laundry room... )
  • List for Shower to Sis (doing after this)
  • Cleaned out frig (did this at lunch time)
  • Still want to do: Etsy researching some stuff
So today had made up for my really not productive days! :-)  Hoping to keep it up!  We shall see!

That's all for now!

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Tuesday Testimony

~Tuesday Testimony~
So I am a day late, but I had not time to write this out yesterday, but still wanted to share so here is Tuesday Testimony a day late

If you missed my last Tuesday Testimony I am starting from where I left off.  I left off that I was in my third trimester of my second child and my husband had told me he wanted a divorce. 

A lot happened in a very short amount of time from when he told me it was over to when my second child was born.  The situation would have been tremendously hard even if I had not been pregnant, but adding that into it made the whole situation even more difficult.  I now look back at this time and realize that being in my final trimester in a way made me stronger.  I had to be strong and there were things that I had to decide I couldn't control and let them go.  God's timing is perfect.  If I accept that than I also have to accept that the timing of all of it was as it should be.  I can't say that I am ok with that!  :-)  In fact there are times when I think about it that it really gets my blood boiling, but the truth is having a small child about to come into the world made me keep my head on straight and not give up.  I knew that the Lord loved me and he would not give me more than I could handle.   I had many conversations with the Lord that started with," I guess you think I can handle A LOT... I guess that is a compliment, but really I don't think I can take anymore.  It was those conversations... I was bluntly honest with God...that I gained the most peace and insight about what was going on in my life.  I have learned from that if I am honest and come to God with an open heart talking with him he will show you what you need, and he will give you peace about the things that you can not control or change.  

I was not ready to get a divorce, in fact I did not give up even after the divorce was final up to a point.  I knew what I wanted, and I knew what I thought was right. Divorce did not fit into that.  It definitely did not fit into what I wanted for my kids, but I was not the person making the choices that were pulling us apart. Family is one of the most important things to me, and seeing my family being ripped apart in front of my eyes was so hard.  I didn't want that kind of future for my boys.  I couldn't believe that my X wanted or could be ok with that.  It was something that was so out of his character.  

During the first few weeks and for some people all the way until my son was born I didn't tell or talk about what was going on.  I told my Mom a few weeks after he told me.  When he was sure... see after he told me the next week he was taking a week to "think" he was going out of town for work and was going to think about things.  I was hoping so much that he would come back and have a different outlook on things.  We definitely had problems, but I wasn't ready to give up on us.  I somehow felt like if I told someone else it would make it real.  The people at my work didn't know until after my son was born.  I didn't tell any of them because it was hard enough for me to get through the day and I felt like if I had to deal with "the looks" and people saying they were sorry that I would be an even bigger mess.  I was a huge mess!  

After he told me that it was over I can specifically remember that week after.  I would be sitting at my desk at work and suddenly feel the tears coming.  I'd get up and go hide outside in the back of the building.  Until I felt like I could hold it together and then I would go back in.  No one said anything.  If they noticed they took the prego hormones excuse as the reason.  I looked horrible... puffy eyes red nose.  Really just a huge mess.  When I did tell my Mom I spent most of that conversation crying.  I can't imagine how hard that call must have been for my Mom!  

When I think back on the time when I felt like I couldn't share this with my coworkers, family...Even his family. I wish I would have told them.  Having support from those who love you and care about you is very important.  It can make a situation that is hard bearable.  I felt at the time like I didn't want to share because I was ashamed.  I felt like such a failure. I didn't realize then that we all fail.  We all go through hard times and that having your family and friends to help you through it makes the hard time the failure and feelings easier to get through.  Surround yourself with people who love you, understand you, and who will uplift you.  When you are going through a rough time you should be able to trust the people who are around you to be not just for you but back you 100%  That said.  It is good to have those friends who you know no matter what will tell you the complete and total truth.  When it's time to make hard decisions having people who will not just tell you what you want to hear but what is the truth is so important.    

I also want to share that no matter what your situation is there is always hope.  You may feel like you are in a deep dark pit that is never ending and you can't see a way out, but do not give up hope.  There is a way out you just can't see it yet.  Have faith God is in control!  Look to him for comfort and for guidance.  I am living proof that even the really bad stuff can work out.  Life can turn out in ways that you never thought possible.  I am remarried and expecting another child.  My kid's are doing great!  I am happy and life is good.  There are still times that are hard.  Times when the things that happened hurt like they were fresh, but life is so much better than I could have dreamed it could be during that time when it seemed like my whole life was falling apart.  Keep your chin up.  Get up everyday and keep going.  Even if your only goal for the day is to just get through it that is an accomplishment.  Each day is a gift from God!   

All of this blog are my opinions, memories, and feelings.  I am sharing these in hopes of helping people who may have gone or may be going through a hard time in life.  I am not sharing any of this because I want to hurt anyone.  I am not like that and would never dream of sharing something with a purpose of being hurtful in any way. 

I Think I Can... Getting Organized... To Do List

Good Morning!

So obviously I didn't post yesterday... It was one of those day's where at the end of the day you go... where did the day go?  We had a very busy day yesterday!

I had a baby check up.  Baby Chaeli is doing great!  Growing, moving, heart rate good, all good!  I start going every two weeks now and have an ultrasound next visit.  :-)

Cody and Caelan had check ups in the afternoon as well.  So, I got home from my appointment (Thank goodness Brian was off yesterday and helped watch kiddo's)  I made them lunch and they played a little before it was time for me to go get the boys from school.  Garrett and one of my babysitting kids stayed at home with Brian for nap time.  The other babysitting kiddo came with me and we went and got the boys and headed to the doctor office.

The boys are doing great!  Aside from Caelan not being happy that he isn't taller than he is... (shhh don't tell him I told you)  All is good!  

So, I didn't get any of my list done yesterday or really the day before so today is a catch up day.  

  • Mail Cody's Thank You 
  • Posts
  • Bills
  • List of people to Sis for Shower
  • Dates in Calendar
  • Call Caelan's Orthodontist
  • Laundry
  • Etsy 
  • Clean boys bathroom
  • Take a look at Cody's fundraiser stuff that he got from School

Today I thought I would add some of my schedule so you can see how I try to fit in the stuff I need to to in my daily routine.  We are on a schedule because if we aren't I end up running around like a chicken with my head cut off to get kids int he car in time to pick up kids from school etc.  

  • Up at 4:30 for quiet time... so far this isn't happening!  I need my sleep!
  • Get ready 5am - yes I do get up at 5am to get ready 
  • Get boys up 6am
  • leave house at 7:20 (why do I get the boys up so early if we don't leave until 7:20... I have learned that giving yourself some room on time is a good idea.  I have already had some trouble getting boys up so having time to get them up and give them time to wake up before I rush them around helps us all be in a better mood!
  • We relax a little when we get home - G likes to watch cartoons sometimes and sometimes plays.  I feed Ms. C (9months old)  and then she plays for a while.  
  • C goes down for a nap right around 9 and that gives me a little time to get a few things done... usually kitchen cleanup and maybe start working on a post or facebook/ news time
  • C gets up at around 10 
  • C2 gets here around 11:15  - kiddos play for a while.
  • I start lunch around 11:30 so they have time to eat and have "quiet time" watch an educational cartoon for a few min. to start to calm down and get ready for nap time.
  • I have the boys start nap time right around 1:15 because it takes them a little bit to fall asleep.  That gives them time for an hour nap before I need to wake them up to go get Cody from School
  • Pick up Cody 2:55
  • Come home and depending on the day they play for a few and then we go get Caelan or if Caelan has wrestling stuff they just play until 4:30
  • 4:30 is pick up time. 
  • Cody sits down for homework
  • I make lunches for the next day 
  • Start dinner depending on what I am making leaving time for it to be ready for us to sit down and eat around 5:45.
  • Bath Time around 6:30 G first then Cody - Cody has started doing chores (feeding dog and helping clean up after dinner so while he does that G gets his bath.  
  • 7 is quiet time - we watch a show or if we are running behind read some books.
  • Bed time is at 8 for the boys.  This leaves time for Brian and I to spend a little time together before I go to bed at 10.  It is Caelan's bed time at 10 as well.  

We are not super strict on most of this, but it's good to have a rough outline to follow so that it is easier to keep on track.  :-)

That's all for now!

Monday, September 9, 2013

Storm Warning! A Message That I Want to Share

Good Morning!

The most recent series that my church has done was called Storm Warning!  I felt like this message was something I really wanted to share.  The detail and explanation that Pator Jimmy Evan's goes into is more than I could explain or do justice to in a Blog Post.  I hope that you will take the time to listen to these massages.  They are profound!
Storm Warning

I also wanted to share the link to a previous series that goes along the same topic just more details if you enjoyed and found the Storm Warning messages useful and interesting you will enjoy these as well.

Trinity Fellowship Church

If you haven't read the Harbinger I highly suggest it!

Harbinger on Amazon

It's hard to ignore the fact that we live in a fallen world.  When all of the facts start being layed out it is very interesting indeed!

That's all for now!

I Think I Can... Getting Organized... To do List

Good Morning!
Well we made it through the weekend.  My goal was to take it easy this weekend, which I did.  Yes, that actually is an accomplishment!  I usually can't make my self sit and just take it easy for very long.  There is too much to do.

Friday Got Done:
I really didn't get much done on Friday.  I had started to feel crummy and it was about all I could do to get through the day.  I started on the list for getting Registered and cleaned in the kitchen some but that was about it besides my posts.

I made the grocery list and managed to relax with my boys. 

Sunday I felt a little better.  My Hubby wanted me to rest up so we didn't go to church.  He and Caelan went to the store and I did my best to rest.  It was harder because I felt like there was a lot that needed to be done for the beginning of the week.  I did manage to make it until 5ish before I started pushing myself to clean etc.  I was hurting when I went to bed and paid for it all night.  I couldn't get comfortable and felt like I couldn't breath.  Baby is taking up more and more room and making sleeping harder.  Plus, she was majorly active last night.  I am usually able to ignore it when she gets active and still sleep, but not last night.  

Today's To do List:
Since I've been feeling crummy since I got up I am going to try to take it easy as much as possible today.

  • Call Caelan's Orthodontist
  • Mail Cody's Thank You
  • Posts
  • Bills
  • List of people to my Sis for Shower (Can't believe how fast time is going by!)
  • Dates in Calendar.

Here hoping to a restful day!

That's all for now!