Doing the Right thing is Also a Really Hard Thing

I am preparing myself for what I know is coming later this week.  I know it's coming because it happens every time I'm about to send my boys to their Dad's house.  It is a good thing for the boys to get to go to their Dad's. It is the right thing for them and for their Dad. I am so glad their Dad wants to be a part of their lives.  It is also one of the hardest things that I have to do.

  In the days leading up to them going I become a stress ball and end up being short tempered. When I really just want to love on them and let them know I will miss them, but I am really excited for them to get to go.  I guess the stress of knowing they will be gone plus trying to get them packed and ready on top of my daily already crazy life just... gets to me.  

So, I am preparing myself because I really don't want it to be like that.  I want it to be that I am excited for them.  I want to see the good in it all.  I will miss them yes, but I need a break sometimes and this is that opportunity.  It is good for them to have these experiences.  Even though I am not there to see them experience it.  

I think being mentally prepared, spiritually prepared, and physically prepared (get them packed early so it is not so stressful right before they go) will help.  This will never be an easy thing.  It will always pull at my heart that they will be gone.  I will always miss them.  I will always feel a little out of sorts when they are gone. That is the way it should be and that is ok.  I need to be strong because they need to go and have fun.  They need to go make memories with their Dad.  They don't need any of the baggage that comes with, "this is the way it is."  That will come in time.  I need to protect them from that for as long as I can.  

So I am doing the right thing for my boys.  It is a really hard thing.  I would do anything for them if I thought it was the right thing for them.  So, I can be strong for them I am their Mamma!

TTFN
April

Because You've Been There

Tomorrow is Mother's Day and I've been thinking about the best way to tell my Mom how much she means to me.  There are days when I really think back to my child hood and think my Mom was a Super Woman and shake my head wondering how she did it.  As I was thinking about this a little poem started to take shape so I decided this is my gift to you Mom on this Mother's Day!  

Because You've Been There

My days are full 
time is sparse
you've been there you know how that is

My house is not always clean
The laundry is in piles
that need to be put away
You've been there you know how that goes.  

I take care of babies all of the day
and all of the night
You've been there you know how that goes

My wardrobe needs replenished
My shoes last a long time
I don't buy for me
there are little ones to feed
You've been there you know how that goes

My heart is overflowing 
Hugs and kisses from my littles
Little voices calling my name
Sweet babies that just need my love
You've been there you know how that goes

It's bittersweet I see that they are growing
They won't always need boo boo kisses 
I tuck them in knowing they won't always need me like this
You've been there you know how that goes

Mamma you always said
when you have kids of your own 
You will understand 
You've been there you know how that goes

I have kids of my own now 
I do understand
I know what you gave for me 
I know how that goes.

I love you more for it
I Thank You today
For you showed me how all of that goes

Turning over a new leaf

Howdy!

So I titled this post "Turning Over a New Leaf" because that is what I am doing.  I've been restless, tired, confused, mad, frustrated, and scared a lot lately.  Yesterday was a really rough day for me.  I was extremely tired (The baby is teething and getting ready to grow so she had been up a lot at night)  So, on top of tired and grumpy I just had a rough day.  Not anyone's fault I could have handled the whole situation better if I would have just remembered one of my most important quotes... " Attitude is EVERYTHING"  

So, after dinner I excused myself to have a few minutes to myself because I was really still struggling.  I cried and then decided that I really needed to stop feeling sorry for myself and pray.  I had prayed throughout the day but my heart had not really been open to hear what God was trying to tell me.  God had put a scripture right in front of my face all day long and I didn't see it until the end of the day.  On my phone I have a daily scripture and it is on my home page.  So literally this was in front of my face all day long...

Romans 12:1-2 
https://bible.com//97/rom.12.1-2.msg

1-2So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.


Recently I've been struggling with feeling like I'm not able to get enough done... What I can get done I don't ever feel like I've done a good enough job or that it is ever complete.  I've also have been frustrated because I am one person taking care of a family of kids and a husband... I take care of the majority of the house stuff and I never feel like there is enough time to get everything done.  So... basically I was kinda having a pity party!  :-)

I am right where I am supposed to be
I need to stop being so hard on myself and others
I need to remember that loving others is my job (not keeping the house perfect)

I am turning over a new leaf that will include not being to hard on myself, doing the best that I can do do what God has asked me to do, and not to stress about the things that I can't control.

TTFN!

April

So many things to write about so little time...

As I sit down to write out this post I realize it has been so.... long since I have really posted on here.  I haven't shared about so many things going on in my life.  Part of why I have been absent from my dear blog is the newest addition to our family.  She is wonderful, beautiful, and needs Mamma's attention... which makes sitting down for a moment to type out my thought nearly impossible.  On top of this daycare kiddos and well just life... So if it's not one it's the other and I have a possible 2 minutes every now and then to think about starting to post to my blog... then a baby cries or a kiddo needs a drink or has fallen down and needs their boo boo kissed and that thought goes out the window... As I type... I am being called.  Baby is awake. So, I'll write more if I get a chance... when I get a chance.  :-)

TTFN
April

Home Made Apple Goodness!!

I used to think that making home made Apple sauce was really hard to make (no idea what I was basing this on...that is just what I thought) I saw on pintrest how to make apple sauce and thought that sounds ridiculously easy I have to try this!! I did and it was so amazingly delicious. So here is how you make home made apple sauce...

Get two bags of your favorite 3 pound bag of apple's.
Peel them and cut them up...they don't have to be cut up into small pieces.
Put the Apple's in the crock pot
If you like cinnamon put cinnamon in with the apple's
Cook for 4-6 hours
I stir them every now and then
Mash then up and eat them!!
That's it!!
I put them in canning jars and seal them

Having Faith When Life Gets Tough!

My Mom posted this on Facebook today: This may look like an ordinary Wal-Mart card...BUT GOD used it to save my life!!! Back in September I got a coupon from my health insurance saying IF I got a mammogram before the end of the year they would send me a $20 Wal-Mart gift card...sooo long story, short...they found breast cancer....GOD knew what my little frugal heart needed to get me in to the Dr!! THANKS GOD!! 

Finding out your Mom has Breast Cancer is like one of those I never thought it would happen to me or us sort of moments.  Mom scheduled an appointment for a mammogram after getting a coupon from her health insurance that if she got the mammogram she would get a $20 Walmart gift card.  :-)  God works in mysterious ways, but he know what my Mom would need for that final push to get her there.  Since she had just had a mammogram the previous year (I think).  

When I found out the first instinct was to kinda panic or be scared... and I did a little... but, then I remembered my Mom is in God's protection. I don't understand completely why my Mom would need to go through this, but I trust that God has her right where he wants her and that no matter what He is with her!  So the Collins Family is praying and trusting God's got this!  

Isaiah 43:19

19Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.

http://bible.com/1/isa.43.19.kjv

Isaiah 41:10

10Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

http://bible.com/1/isa.41.10.kjv

God is in control and I have an amazing amount of peace about all of it.  I do wish I could be there to support my family during this time, but I am doing what I can from out of town.  I am so grateful for the big family that we are and the amazing friends we have!  

  

Your prayers are very much appreciated!  We do not know for sure when she will have the procedure and treatment, but I will keep updating on this here.  Prayers also for the insurance mess to get lined out...  See they rushed a bit getting the biopsy done quickly since my Mom's insurance was going to be ending because of the lovely Obama Care mess!  So now she is working through... well a mess on that end.  

April

My Word for 2014!!

First of all Happy New Year!  I pray that this year will bring you many blessings!  

I have been absent from my Blog now for far to long.  I am hoping that I will be able to post here on a more regular basis going forward.  

I have been selecting a Word to describe what I hope to do for the upcoming year now for a couple of years.  I like this concept that one word describes what I wish to work toward for the year.  In my opinion it makes more sense than making resolutions to loose weight or accomplish certain things.  Most people fall short within the first few weeks and give up. (or maybe that's just me :-)  )  Well if it's just a word a goal for the whole year then it is something that is more reasonable (at least in my mind)  :-)  

So this year I have selected Obedient as my word.  Now this word means so much more than doing what I am told, but it does include this.  I have felt for a while now that I need to write.  It's more like I feel like God is telling me I need to write.  I have put this off... found excuses... all because I am not really sure where to start and what to say. My goal this year to be obedient in that I know this is something I need to do.  I also want to be obedient in so many other areas including faith in lots of areas, health, loving others, being more consistent in reading my bible and making time for myself, as well as making time for myself and my husband.  So you see one word can say a whole lot more than just one thing!  

As I was thinking about what to write in this post I was struggling.  I am a Mom of 4 kiddos ranging from 15 to 7 weeks old and busy is a word that just doesn't cover how my day usually goes.  Making time to do something like writing is hard and is usually at the bottom of the list.  It usually doesn't happen.  I have been struggling because we are struggling financially.  We are in a very very tight spot and I have been pleading with God to show me what I should do.  What path he wants me on.  Every time I ask I get that he wants me to write.  I ask... ok but about what... I just get that I need to write. I have had few other times in my life when I have heard the Holy Spirit speak so clearly to me  So, :-)  I am writing.  I hope you will bear with me as I am not really sure what I should write about, but apparently I have some things to say that maybe others will benefit from... maybe... or maybe this is just for me.  Either way I am writing.   

So here goes!  I'm excited to see what this year holds.  There are many things happening in my life.  The Lord is good ALL the time!  

~April